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Here I stand.
At the edge of my life.
You just didn't understand.
What was taken from me by the knife.
I'm too tired to believe.
That everyone wants to care.
I'm too tired to leave.
Even if I don't think this is fair.
I'm too stubborn to concieve.
Why am I so scared?
I am just too weak.
To be something of use.
To be that someone you seek.
So lets end this mutual abuse.
When it comes to me and you.
The only thing I can do.
Is watch as everything falls through.
So scatter my memory.
Like ashes that will never be found.
Just do your best to forget me.
And I'll do my best not to make a sound.
When you turn and walk away.
I will not ask you why.
Or try to make you stay.
I'll just let you say goodbye.
I waited for someone to come,and change my outlook.
But that someone was not you.
In the last chapter of this outdated book.
Please list your reasons,no matter how few.
Do be careful with that little piece of my heart that you took.
When it comes to me and you.
The only thing I can do.
Is watch as everything falls through.
So now I cannot be saved.
Stuck somewhere between light and darkness.
The road I took was paved.
In the memories of why I couldn't do this.
And in the end.
I just became another victim.
So I'll try to pretend.
That I don't feel this affliction.
But I do not think you are to blame.
Just one strike on this match and I'll burn in the flames.
And if you really want to numb your pain.
Just try your best to forget my name.
When it comes to me and you.
The only thing I can do.
Is watch as everything falls through.
When it comes to you and I.
There's no comfort in wondering why.
I'll just close my eyes.
And whisper one more goodbye.
©2006-2010 ~DeniedRedemption
:icondeniedredemption:

Author's Comments

....And it's impossible to stop the crash and burn.How come I never learn?

Comments


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:iconsilverwolfsoul777:
"Just one strike on this match and I'll burn in the flames.
And if you really want to numb your pain.
Just try your best to forget my name."

Very beautiful.

--
This white rose is tainted red with the blood of a forgotten innocence,
This blood that forever takes the purity, is the blood of my humility...
My misery,
My pain.
My defeat.
From the source of it all...
You.
:iconbrokenvirtue:
You READ my mind. I love this,
:icondeniedredemption:
Thank you.And for the fave.

--
"Eyes that carry no life.
Carry memories not worth remembering.
It's hard to fall on your face.
When you weren't standing in the first place.
And everything I say or do.
Is just a matter of not mattering to you"
:iconsuupashi:
You cant appreciate something until you have lost everything. Love is no exception. When life reaches over and grasps at the emotions we all feel, sometimes we are indeed left feeling confused, Helpless, Sometimes terrified. But love, is not the only thing in life that gives it meaning. Life can be lived, life can be loved while your alone. Stand tall and know that even though you did love and it didnt work out, YOU did love, and that those memories of the days you spent with the one you cared for will always be with you, even if the person is not.
__---__-__--_-_-_--__-_--

This peice is rather deep, however, on certain phrases I would have liked to see something more original instead of what came to be at first. One line that stands out is "So now I cannot be saved.
Stuck somewhere between light and darkness", I think you could have worked with that to make it not sound so cliche, I mean the feeling is not lost on me, but it somewhat cheapens your emotions, to put them up to scale like that. Instead of light and darkness, how about something along the lines of "So now Im lost, stuck in monochrome places, filled with so many indiffrent face, of which among them is yours."? Im not saying replace the line with that, I just dont want the deep emotions of this to be cheapend with something which inadiquatly describes your emotions.. dont hate me please...^^() Over all, very touching work.

--
"Your name is disgraced, history shall see thou as a wretch, thy name associated with villany! With hatred! ....With ignorance."
:icondeniedredemption:
I couldn't hate you silly.Always great advice and lovely comments.I like to think that the next two lines tie those two together nicely.

--
"Eyes that carry no life.
Carry memories not worth remembering.
It's hard to fall on your face.
When you weren't standing in the first place.
And everything I say or do.
Is just a matter of not mattering to you"
:iconsuupashi:
*whew* I didnt want to come off as a jerk, I looked back on the comment and thought to myself, 'JERKY COMMENT! DELETE!' -_-() the next two lines of the poem you mean? "The road I took was paved. In the memories of why I couldn't do this." ? *looks it over*

--
"Your name is disgraced, history shall see thou as a wretch, thy name associated with villany! With hatred! ....With ignorance."
:icondeniedredemption:
Yeah,I like how it turned out after those to lines.And if I can't take a little criticism then how could I call myself a writer?You're not a jerk Suupa-chan.

--
"Eyes that carry no life.
Carry memories not worth remembering.
It's hard to fall on your face.
When you weren't standing in the first place.
And everything I say or do.
Is just a matter of not mattering to you"
:iconsuupashi:
Thank you sweet, glad I can help :hug:

--
"Your name is disgraced, history shall see thou as a wretch, thy name associated with villany! With hatred! ....With ignorance."
:icondyingwithoutme:
There are so many beautiful parts.... every piece you write touches me deep in my heart.
Do you remember when you wrote to me, that love wouldnīt be as beautiful as it is, if we understood love. Thatīs the answer.....but thereīs hope. You will be happy someday.

--
sometimes goodbye is the only way !
:icondeniedredemption:
I know.Just gotta wait.Be patient is all I can do anymore.

--
"Eyes that carry no life.
Carry memories not worth remembering.
It's hard to fall on your face.
When you weren't standing in the first place.
And everything I say or do.
Is just a matter of not mattering to you"

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November 13, 2006
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