I wish...

I wish I was too cold to care.
But I can't be like you.
I wish I could ignore your stare.
You make it hard to love you.
I wish I was too numb to feel.
Please just make it painless.
I wish these feelings were never real.
But they are and I can't take this.
I wish I was too fake to cry.
But I don't care what they think.
I wish I could let this die.
Cause my heart is starting to sink.
I wish I could stay down when I fall.
But I'm too careless of myself.
I wish I could tear down your wall.
And finally escape this hell.
All I want to know is why.
Does any of this matter?
I've gotta try.
And hope this will get better.
Now these feelings fade and disappear.
I wish you would just become a ghost.
I can't walk away from here.
Cause you're the cure I need the most.
I'll ask again and I expect an answer.
What was all of this for?
My cure infects me like a cancer.
This doesn't feel good anymore.
I wish I could give up at last.
But I know I can't.
These feelings are fading fast.
Just another broken man.
I'll ask just one more time.
What does this all mean?
Is hurting me your favorite pasttime?
I wash my hands of this but never feel clean.
If your thinking of apologizing.
Don't bother.
I followed you without realizing.
That I was just slipping farther.
I wish I was stronger.
But I just can't stay.
I wish it could've lasted a little longer.
But it's over so just throw me away.
I wish I was more important to you then this.
I know your hatred is fueled by your past.
I wish I gave you one last kiss.
I wish we were meant to last.